The past few weeks have been a journey full of questions. I was walking up a path where I expected turning into a new road, looked forward to particular turn of events and was visualising life take a diffrent direction in general.
The turn did arrive. Only the scenery was different than expected.
The turn of events did happen-only they were different than what I expected.
The "vision" I had of my life changed in a matter of a few days.
What was also unexpected was disapointment and a HUGE sense of emptiness; a sense of being rudderless in the vast shoreless sea of my life.
The experience left me completely depleted of energy. I looked dull, dark and sans my usual sparkle. Sometimes sleep is the best remedy.In sleep the being repairs itself;the body regains its balance, the mind and emotions have no active working but just rest rest and ..some more rest.
A week with nothing less than daily 8 hours of nocturnal sleep and 2-3 hours of afternoon snoooze-time, I was almost back and together...back to being ME.
During this time an avalanche of questions came tumbling down into my mind...
What do I want to do with my life?
Why should any situation in life make me feel rudderless?
Where do i go from here?
Where do I seek to be in future? ...
Am I equipped for my future?
What do I need to do to be able to be happy in all situations?
To most questions I had no answers and the fuzziness of it all weighed on my heart.
It was then I thought- but why am I so bogged down with this? Havent I read umpteen number of times that one shud live in the present? (Plan for the future- sure! But live IN the present moment!). My mind went back to another moment in life- I was depressed way back then-it was a crisis of sorts and I had no hope in life.I chanced upon a sentence from my guru and those words became my turning point. I took charge of my happiness and worked my way back to smiles and sunshine. Those words were (not the exact words) .. . When you are depressed, you dont have Faith in the Divine.
I recalled these words and thought, what am I doing with myself- how can I let go of myself, when what I have to let go is doubts! And bingo, the clouds started to move away and the sun shone thru warm as always.
If we can really step back and trust the Divine, trust the flow of life; if we can not let our doubts and fears intervene and take charge of our hearts and minds; if we can just simply be, with Faith and with gratitude....Indeed Life is beautiful!
2 comments:
yayyyy..... good start sweets...:)
Ok World, when you read my blog in future, please know that my blog-guru is Aarti! :-) Thank you Angel!
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